Word Count Reduction: An Example

256px-Elektro_and_Sparko_(263022490)Today, I have another example that shows how you can make your writing more concise and understandable.

Original: (40 words)

In our robot mobility system, we provide a simulation comparison which is shown in Figure 12 that uses random heights for the robots for the purpose of comparing the height as one of the important factors in our system.

Revised: (15 words)

In this example, we use random heights for the robots, as shown in Figure 12.

The sentence no longer states that height is an important factor in the system, but is it necessary to say this? After all, would a careful author devote an entire figure to a factor that wasn’t important? The exception here would be if the wider research community thought height wasn’t important and the main purpose of the figure was to disprove this.